I am deeply disturbed by the current media reports of Kate Spade’s death. I didn’t know her, but one doesn’t have to, to be rocked by the news. I’ve been thinking of a short-sighted, general indictment I’ve heard throughout my life concerning feminine rivalry. Apparently, it’s widely assumed that this is the norm among women, but I beg to differ– and it’s not as though I’m a member of any sisterhood for the sake of itself. The fact is much to the contrary; I’m a bit of a loner by nature and temperament. But when a woman of my generation rises to stratospheric heights of international success by contributing to the masses with an art of her making, something within me cheers and thinks she succeeded on behalf of us all. My pride swells as if to say, “Look at what one of us did!” When one woman shines so brightly, she serves as inspiration for the rest of us. Such a woman is a representative of the best in us all. I believe this is why we identify with women that achieve great abundance. There’s a part within all of us that believes if one of us succeeds, I can, too. For this very reason, it’s disillusioning when one of us leaves by her own hand. We don’t talk about it among ourselves, but when one of us gives up, it’s sobering. An internal voice questions, “What? This is an option?” For some of us, it may go deeper than this. For some of us, it may come to the thought, “There by the grace of God go I.” That’s the side of this that’s scary. It touches on a consideration by which most of us are horrified. We couldn’t commit suicide; would never think of it, and we congratulate ourselves for our stout mettle, even as we discount we’ve known one of those days, or perhaps a spiraling bout where it seemed all was lost. But we reel ourselves out of the momentary lapse of reason. And though we’re exhausted, we find the fortitude to soldier on. But what of those women who suffer from debilitating mental anguish? What of those unreachable from the comforting arm of fortifying connections? Because women look to each other for guidance in this business of living. We are role models to each other for how to comport ourselves in the face of great adversity.
With the breaking news of Kate Spade’s suicide, I am counting my blessings. I am thinking of my close friendships and not taking them for granted. I am sending a prayer heaven’s way for Kate Spade and her family. At the center of all this is a resonant prayer for all those suffering from the heartbreak of despair, be it mental, spiritual or emotional. I extend deepest sympathy to Kate Spade’s family.